3 Strategies to Help Turn That Sh*tty Day Around

By societal standards, I have pretty horrible skin. Oddly, my complexion was relatively normal during my teen years and it wasn’t until my pregnancies that my skin from hell really revved up. Suuuuper cool for all of you out there that got to rock that gorgeous pregnancy glow. That was not my journey. Yours truly looked like a ruddy, pock marked 14 year old teenage boy.

A few years ago I was watching this cop show that featured female officers in their line of duty. It was so inspiring to watch these women excel in this male dominated career and just completely kick some ass, and take some names. I will never forget this one particular episode that featured a prostitution sting. You know what I’m talking about, right? The female cop dresses up to appear to be a hooker and then she “works the street” attempting to find dirt bags that are willing to pay for sex. And then, you know, the nasty guy falls for it, they negotiate a deal, and they go back to a hotel room. In the next room over there’s a million other cops waiting to arrest the dirt bag and then BOOM, everyone swarms with a million guns and it’s like, “You are DONE son!!” The cops are everywhere, the John goes to jail, and the streets are safer with one less deplorable creep out there. You get the drift.

So that is what this female cop was attempting to do during this episode. She was attempting to get the creepy guys to believe she was a hooker. But you’ve gotta hear this. This female cop was so freaking gorgeous, none of the creepy guys were falling for this act that she was a prostitute. I kid you NOT at one point during the episode, the lady cop looks at the camera and dead ass says, “I just don’t have the crack whore skin. They aren’t falling for it. I’m too pretty.” I’m too pretty. And this didn’t come from a place of vanity- homegirl was just speaking her truth. She legit was just too healthy and gorgeous looking to be considered a prostitute. She even rubbed dirt all over her effing face you guys, in attempt to dirty herself up and she still couldn’t convince anyone she was a prostitute. Can you reread that last line please? It’s fine, everything is fine, I’m fine.

I swear to you, ALL I could think of when I watched this episode was… Um, do you want to hire me to be the fake prostitute?? (Yea, I never thought I would say those words…) I could take off all my make up. You could hand me a trashy looking trench coat of some variety and maybe some beat up high heels and I tell you WHAT- I would have the Johns just linin’ up for daysssss.

THAT is how bad my skin is, my friends.

And for the longest time felt so BADLY about my bad skin. Like, I felt the need to apologize to the world for it. If, on a rare occasion, I went out with little to no makeup on and I saw someone I knew, I felt this need to let them know, that I KNOW that I have a bad complexion. Sort of like, “Omg, hi! So nice to see you! Yes, my skin is atrocious- I see you looking at me with utter disgust. I’m so sorry.” And I just felt bad about it. Like, how dare I show my face in the world with no makeup when I look like this? I’m not telling you about this delightfully unhealthy thought process to earn your sympathy, because I really don’t need it. I’m telling you this because I’m at this point in my life where I’m like, okay, you know what? I don’t have a clear complexion, but… WHO CARES? I’m so. freaking. tired over feeling bad and embarrassed and self conscious about it. Do you have anything like that in your life? Do you have something that you are just soooo tired of feeling bad over? Loose skin, moles, your teeth, your hair, your boobs, your weight?

Andddd this is my skin on the upswing, people.

Ladies, I’ll tell you what- I’m done. I’m done feeling badly about things that I shouldn’t have to feel badly about. I’m done with the shame, and the fear of being judged, and the utter mental fatigue that comes along with those feelings. And you know what I’m doing, you guys? I’m taking all that energy that I would have spent on feeling like shit and I’m effing reclaiming it. That’s right. I’m taking it back. So I’ve got some zits on my face. So your boobs are aren’t perky anymore after breastfeeding 3 kids. So you have some cellulite on your thighs. Okay. And what? AND WHAT? You are NOT your breasts, or your cellulite, or your complexion. You are SO much more than that. You are beauty and light and energy and power, mama. You have creative ideas, you have meaningful opinions. Mama, you freaking run the show in your home… and ALSO in your HEAD.

So here are a few ideas I put together for what you can think about/do the next time you have one of those days where you are just feeling badly about shit you don’t need to feel badly about. You can also take a look at this post for even more ideas and strategies to help empower you to turn your day around. Please try them and let me know your thoughts!

Embrace the hell out of it. That’s RIGHT, ladies. You heard me. Embrace those days when you look like crap. You’re probably like, okay I’ll just be closing this tab right about now because this chick is straight up bogus, but HEAR ME OUT. This is the way I have come to embrace my days when I just look and feel out of sorts/just really ugly:

Okay, to explain this we need to take a step back. You know those days when you are just BEAMING and you look GOOD girl, and your hair is gorgeous because you just washed it after 6 days (just me?), and the fashion gods have blessed you by helping you select an outfit that is just on point and like 2.5 co-workers have complimented you and strangers are smiling at you and you’re just like YES. I SLAY. Tell me you have those days every once in awhile?! (I summon the universe to give you thousands of these days, mama.) My question to you is this, (and this is what I pose to myself, right there with you) HOW are you supposed to have those amazing, gorgeous hair, outfit-on-point, confidence bursting days, without having the days when you look average, so-so, or just plain bad? You can’t. You have to have some ying with the yang, ya know!? It’s the same concept in that we llneed to know struggle and heart break and pain in order to reallly understand and appreciate joy. If every single day you are striving to look like a celebrity…what room does that leave for those truly amazing days when you really do feel like a million bucks?

What I’m trying to say is that we were not meant to look picture perfect day after freaking day, every day of our lives. When did that expectation start!? We scroll through social media seeing gorgeous pictures and suddenly we think that everyone leaves the house looking put together and on point, 100% of the time. Can I just take a moment to remind EVERYONE out there that social media is FAKE!? Have you guys seen that quote out there that says, “Pretty is not the rent you pay to exist in this world”? PREACH. I’m learning to embrace my not so good days because there is such power in them, you guys. When the world expects you to look a certain way, and you don’t deliver, but you STILL show up and you’re still amazing and powerful and you don’t apologize, that is revolutionary. Look the world in the eye and say, I’m bloated, I’m greasy, I have acne… and WHAT? When you know your power and your worth, no one can take it away from you. Show up no matter freaking what, mamacita.

Reach TF out. I have this horrible habit of isolating myself when I feel down. Omg, you do too?! You guys, I’m really trying to change that bad habit. I’ve come to realize that when I reach out to others and make even the smallest connection, I feel so much better. I’m not telling you to send out a group text message to all of your girlfriends telling them you are on the struggle bus and that your day is shit. Mamas, making a connection with another human being even in the SMALLEST way can do WONDERS for your mood.

Try having a meaningful conversation with a co-worker or a family member. Compliment a complete stranger when you are line waiting to pay. Text your bud to set up some plans for the weekend. Post an inspirational quote to your social media and tag someone that you think it could help. When we make a conscious effort to choose positivity, it’s freaking CRAZY you guys, but the universe responds with positivity. So the next time you are feeling down about whatever, push out of your comfort zone and reach out to someone- anyone.

Smile. Okay seriously don’t punch me. Hear me out, mama. The body-mind connection is so real and so powerful that we can harness that connection to help us feel better. According to an article by Psychology Today when we smile, we can actually trick ourselves into thinking we feel better than we do. I know you have experienced this. It happens to me all the time. I’m feeling lousy, so I kind of hype myself up and I “pretend” to be happy. But before I know it, I’m actually feeling so much better because the people around me are vibing off of my “fake” happiness, which then turns into actual good happy feelings. Crazy town how that works.

The article explains, “Facial feedback works because the brain senses the flexion of certain facial muscles (like the zygomatic major, which is required to smile) and interprets it as “Oh I must be happy about something.” Similarly, if that muscle isn’t flexed then your brain thinks, “Oh, I must not be happy”.

In addition to the direct neural feedback, in the real world you also get the added advantage of social feedback. Smiles are infectious (perhaps another post on mirror neurons in the future). So even if you don’t feel much happier, the people around you are more likely to smile, and that can improve your mood as well.”

I’ll tell you what, I know a lot of boss babes out there with a killer RBF (Resting Bitch Face), and I love that about you all. But if you are having a bad day and you are trying to turn it around, just experiment with this strategy for like, ten minutes and see what happens. When we see others return a happy smile, it can help you to forget that bad hair day, or the fact that you don’t feel 100%. I’m smiling just thinking about it.

Mamas, take back that energy. Take the self loathing, the anxiety, the self doubt and turn it into what YOU want it to be. NO ONE gets to tell you how to feel besides YOU. Reach out to a stranger, smile a little, and embrace the hell out of that shitty day. I hope you all have a joy filled, positivity, healthy week. I hope the fashion gods bless you. I hope you make a friend. I hope more than anything you empower yourself and you work to empower others. I’m right there with ya, mama. xoxo Emily

Here’s What Happened When I Kicked My Drink-A-Day Habit

**I want to preface this post by telling you all I am not sober, nor do I want to be, or intend to be.  This post is more so about recognizing that I was drinking too much alcohol at a certain point in my life that I was comfortable with and how I decided to take control and change my habits.  Read on, mamas.**

I LOVE IPAs.  Loud and proud, I am a beer drinking kind of a lady.  I love the sharp taste of those precious bubbles on my tongue, I love the bitter hoppiness, and to be perfectly damn honest I love the amazing feeling of that buzz rushing into my bloodstream.  I do.  Guilty. (Insert shrugging emoji here)  But, towards the end of last year, I began to see a shift in my drinking frequency and behavior that I did not like.

Continue reading “Here’s What Happened When I Kicked My Drink-A-Day Habit”

4 Resolutions That Don’t Suck

Um, can I just say 2018 kicked. my. ass.  It was a brutal one, you guys.  I am definitely realistic in understanding that 2019 is going to most like rock me as well, but you know what?  I refuse to let fear, sadness, and anger rule my life.  I know Target Dollar Spot is already replete with Valentine’s Day decor, hell, probably Saint Patrick’s Day by this point, but I have been mulling over my goals for 2019 and I’ve come up with some pretty powerful ideas that I hope you can implement as well, mamacita.

Start freaking doing instead of waiting.  We live super close to a Ritchie’s diner in town.  I cannot tell you HOW many times I’ve literally said out loud, “Let’s ride our bikes to Ritchie’s some time!”  And thennn I never made it happen.  Do you have anything like that in your life?  Something you have been saying you want to do, or something you want to accomplish, or a dream that you want to achieve, but you just WAIT?  I feel like I have this habit of constantly WAITING.  Waiting to figure out what art or decor to put on my walls, waiting to make the move to get a group fitness certification, waiting to start my Masters… I just WAIT.  And I overthink.  And I second guess myself.  Andddd the walls are bare in my house.  And then I get caught up in the mundane stuff like emptying the dishwasher, scrolling through my phone, or any of the other trillion tasks that I find myself doing on a regular basis.  Please tell me you know what I’m talking about. Continue reading “4 Resolutions That Don’t Suck”

A Secret About Your Body, Mama

When I was in college there was a time I obsessed over wanting bigger boobs.  (Psycho) Lindsay Lohan was super popular at the time and I just thought to myself, “I just need them to be a litttttle bigger and then I’ll be happy.”  Thank GOD I knew myself enough to realize I’m about as fickle as they come and didn’t actually go through with anything like a breast augmentation.

In today’s world, as the Kardashian Krew (see what I did there?) infiltrate like, every media outlet possible, having the biggest butt is the newest trend in women’s body types.  But um, can you just take a moment to re-read that last sentence?  Our freaking bodies, the sacred shell that houses our thoughts, beliefs, aspirations, and dreams have been hijacked by the media only to be used as a means to peddle the latest fashion trends.  (Woah, I sound like a totally hippie feminist.  Hell yea.)  You HAVE to look at this site that goes into detail about how the “perfect female body” has evolved in the past century.  We have to stop letting other entities tell us what our bodies should look like.  We have to reject the idea that our bodies are up for grabs by marketing executives that prey on our insecurities.

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Continue reading “A Secret About Your Body, Mama”

A Kick Ass Story: 1 Bathing Suit & the Power of a Genuine Compliment

This post may contain affiliate links.  Please know I would never recommend anything I do not trust and support.  See my disclosure page for additional information.

Vacations make for the best people watching.  I am reminded of the beauty of the human race as I see different bodies, styles of dress, and families.  The sound of different languages float through the air, filling me with curiosity as to which corner of the world these people hail from.  I had ample opportunity to conduct some hardcore people watching during my recent Hawaii vacation.  As my kids careened down that  green water slide for the thirtieth time that day, I lounged, drink in hand, and soaked up my surroundings.

Another thing I loved about my vacation was the plethora of swimsuits around me.  Suits ranged from modest, complete with sleeves and leggings, to barely there bottoms and teeny tiny tops.  So, with all of the people watching I was doing, coupled with the amazing bathing suits I was bearing witness to, I decided I needed to let some of the gorgeous women around me just how fabulous they looked.

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If you have been following me on my new journey to empower myself and empower other women, you will know that I feel strongly about doling out sincere, unsolicited compliments to the women around me.

It saddens me to know that some women see giving out compliments to other women as groveling and beneath them, when in fact, it is SUCH an empowering experience.  I feel strongly that when you offer a genuine compliment to another, you are in no way, shape, or form giving away your power.  Instead, you are simultaneously increasing your own self worth and image and giving that other person a gift that money cannot buy.

As I was heading back to our room from the pool, a woman was about to pass on my left wearing an adorable bathing suit.  It looked something like this here:

I took a deep breath and said with a smile, “I love your bathing suit.”

Continue reading “A Kick Ass Story: 1 Bathing Suit & the Power of a Genuine Compliment”

STOP Doing it ALL, Mama. Try This Instead.

This post does have an affiliate link.  I do get a small commission if you were to purchase something through my post, but I only recommend products that I truly believe will benefit others.  Please see my disclosure page if you have any questions.

Mamas, I want to start off by telling you that you’re doing a great job.  You’re probably taking care of kids, working a bunch of hours a week, making a boatload of meals, and holding it tf down for your family.  PLEASE understand that you are a bad ass and that you deserve to give yourself grace.  I have to remind myself of this constantly.  What I also have come to realize through my journey of women empowerment, is that as women, we have this tendency to put up a veneer that isn’t a reflection of our truest self.  We live in this society of social media and instant gratification and we so desperately want everyone to believe that we have it together and we are just fine.  And you know what?  That is suchhhh bullshit, you guys.  Do you know what I’ve started to do?  It is SO empowering.  When someone asks me how I’m doing, you know what I say?  I say, “You know, things have been better, but I’m pushing through.”  And I started responding this way to people to try to be more real with myself.

I want to be a more genuine human being.  But GUESS WHAT happens, you guys?  When you tell others that you’re going through some shit, and your life isn’t as perfect as you would want… other mamas around you start to open up, as well.  I guarantee that if you spend a little more being real with the people around you, asking some questions and actually, truly listening, you will find that all of us are struggling with something.

You know what I struggle with?  I am a horrible delegator.  HOW MANYYY TIMES have you said out loud to either yourself or a friend, “It’s just easier if I do it myself.”  Seriously.  HOW MANY TIMES, mamas!??  Because let’s face it, sometimes, okay, most of the time, it does sure seem easier.  Lemme give you a scenario that I’m not really proud to admit happens like all the time at my house.  So here’s Mama Emily, she was up at 5am, out the door by 6, worked her ass off all day teaching emotionally draining students, commuted about an hour home only to pick up the house, empty the dishwasher and then start dinner.  (Lemme stop and say this- I am blessed.  I am not complaining about my life.  I completely and utterly understand that I am privileged af to have a job, a house, and healthy kids.  I know soooo many people out there pray for the things I have.  With that said, this is a post about how I am working to make my situation better than it currently is.)  Mama Emily has asked her sweet and fully capable children to clean up their toys and set the table like 7 times by now, but they are literally rolling on the floor, either crying over the fact that I told them to turn off the damn iPad, or they are finding the lint in the carpet much more interesting than following directions and getting chores done.  Continue reading “STOP Doing it ALL, Mama. Try This Instead.”

How I Rocked My Hawaii Trip With My Kids

It was NOT supposed to go down like this. Not at all. A milllllion percent not what I had envisioned for myself and my kids. Hawaii. It’s supposed to be paradise, right? Try jumping on a plane and heading to Maui literally two days after you have served your spouse divorce papers. Yea, not a very cheerful experience. Now, you may be sitting there thinking to yourself, “Why even GO!? I would rather just stay home!” And you know what friends, I did contemplate that. I did consider staying home to avoid the pain that was the death of my fantasy vacation. But then a couple things started jangling around in this head of mine.

“You have been telling your kids you’re going to Hawaii for months. Their mom should be there with them.”

“Hey, guess who helped pay for the airline tickets and the room? Uh, you. You worked your ass off for this.”

“Even though it isn’t what you thought it was going to be…you can still have fun.”

“Hey Emily, you DESERVE this.”

So I went, guys. I freaking went to Hawaii with my husband that I’m splitting from and my two small children and I’m here to tell you I survived. And if I’m being honest, I didn’t just survive. I had such joyful and beautiful moments during this trip that I feel strengthened as a mom, woman, and human being.

Did I cry a few times? Yes. Did I experience wicked self doubt? Oh yes. But I stopped and I breathed, I reflected on a few of my mantras, and I remembered that I’m strong and capable and I have so much to be grateful for. And then I pushed on, mamas.

For anyone that experiences anxiety, you’ll know going to new places can make you feel uncomfortable. And I’m sure some of you reading this know that can be an understatement! Add on being solely responsible for young children and it takes it to a whole other level. It can make you want to stay right in your bubble. You may tell yourself you can’t leave the safety and comfort of your house, or your hotel room, or your routine for fear of losing control. I get you, mama. But pop the damn bubble and go. You just gotta do it. Continue reading “How I Rocked My Hawaii Trip With My Kids”

10 Things the Empowered Woman In Your Life Wants & Needs!

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Yes, this post contains affiliate links.  I do receive a commission if you were to purchase something via the link in this blog.  Please know, I would never recommend something I do not fully believe in!  Please check out my disclosure page if you would like more info.

That smarty Jeff Bezos (founder of Amazon) has got us all amped up for Amazon Prime Day!  I thought I would put together some fun things that the empowered women in your life totally want and need.  Remember, it is NEVER too late to start getting your Christmas shopping done!

Frida Kahlo backpack/purse

Who wouldn’t want to rock this cool backpack with one of the world’s most influential and amazing female artists on it!?

The Handmaid’s Tale

If you are a fan of the show, then you NEED to read the OG book.  I read this in college and it gave me GOOSEBUMPS.  It is such a powerful reminder that women’s right are human rights.

Empowered Woman Coloring Book

Who doesn’t love to color!?  Relax, focus, and empower yourself with the positive messages found in this fierce coloring book.

Rad Women Worldwide Book

You need this for your coffee table.  Duh.  Educate yourself by learning about powerful women that have paved the path for the rest of us.

Delicate Flower Socks

Maybe you can wear these under your boots this coming fall!?  Or how about loud and proud at the gym?  You are such an amazing delicate effing flower, mama.  Get itttt. Continue reading “10 Things the Empowered Woman In Your Life Wants & Needs!”

Get What You Want Out of Life with the WOOP Strategy

This post contains affiliate links.  Yes, I make a commission if you were to purchase something through a link on this post, but I would never recommend something I do not personally love!

WOOP, there it is, mama!  Okay, no, this isn’t a 90’s rap song or an annoying thing people yell out when they’re excited. Developed by psychology professor Gabriele Oettingen of NYU, the WOOP strategy is a simple mental exercise that will help you reach your life goals so you can start feeling empowered to live your best life, baby.  WOOP stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan.

WHY is it that so often when we face the first setback in accomplishing our goals, we throw in the towel, run the other way, and hang our heads in failure?  We have alllll been there.  How many diets have you started, how many projects have you thrown yourself into, or how many classes have you started, only to quit, maybe not even halfway through?  How horrible is that feeling!?  So often we give up on our goals because we do not have a specific plan in place to help us conquer them.  We become overwhelmed, we beat ourselves up, and we say we aren’t worth it any way.   But you know what?  You ARE worth it, mama.  You just gotta WOOP yourself through it!  With this strategy, you are more likely to feel prepared to take on the challenges associated with getting to that goal, whatever it may be. Continue reading “Get What You Want Out of Life with the WOOP Strategy”

5 Things You NEED to STOP Saying to Empower Yourself, Mama!

This post contains a few affiliate links.  Please know I would never recommend a service or product that I do not love and personally use!  You can check out my disclosure page if you have any questions or concerns.  

Yo I’m Emily, I’m 30, and I’m going through some roughhhh times.  I’m fighting a lot of nasty head noise these days, but I’m doing my best to empower myself and come out of my situation stronger than ever.  I’m doing everything I can to show up, be present, and spread positivity to myself and those around me (especially to the awesome mamas out there that are working hard and holding it down!).  I’ve found that there are some ideas that have been floating around in my head for awhile that are not healthy and are actually holding me back as a woman.  I’ve made the decision to consciously remove them from my brain. Here are five things we need to give up in our vocabulary, ladies.

I just need ________________ and then I’ll be happy.  I need to lose weight, I need to be better about getting to the gym, I need more friends, I need to make more money, I need my skin to clear up, I need this man to make me feel special, I need to have this many likes on social media… The list could go on and ON.  No. NOOOOO.  You don’t need ANY of that shit to be happy.  Lemme say that again for the people in the back: YOU DO NOT NEED EXTRINSIC THINGS IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY.  Okay, I’m going to say something truly cliche and you may wanna punch me… You guys, happiness comes from inside your own brain.  Truly.  I read this AMAZING AF article that was originally published by The Cut that centered on an extremely popular course at Yale.  The class is alllll about how to be happy.  Seriously.  A course designated to help people legitimately learn what happiness is and effective strategies for how to obtain happiness.  I read this article like, every week to remind myself of its merits!!  I’m not kidding. Continue reading “5 Things You NEED to STOP Saying to Empower Yourself, Mama!”