Feeling Ugly? Follow My Hilarious AF Steps to Turn Your Day Around.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever had one of those days where you just feel like you look like a bag of ass. ALL hands should be up, okay?! We have ALL been there. (And if you haven’t, you’re either one lucky son of a gun…or a LIAR.)

Maybe your makeup feels off, or your outfit is just blah, or you “feel” fat. All of it sucks, I know.

When you feel like you don’t physically look good, it can mess with your head, which in turns messes with your work production, how you interact with others, and so much more.

I’m going teach you how I take those days where I just feel like I look blah or my makeup is fugly or my outfit is nottt making me look 100% and I turn them into 100% winssss for me.

Step #1: Pinpoint what exactly is bothering you. There’s a BIG difference between not feeling well physically, versus not feeling like you look “good”. Make sure what you’re feeling isn’t actually hunger, or fatigue, or a nagging headache.

If you ARE feeling lousy due to one of those things, do everything in your power to address and it apply some self care. I give you permission to put off the laundry, or hold off on the emails, or whateverrrr it is that is hounding you and focus on taking care of your physical self.

I know that that last bit of advice may make some of you wanna punch me in the face, but seriously, if you don’t take care of YOU, everythingggg is going to fall apart. Mama, YOU run the show, remember? Just like in the plane with the oxygen mask thingy dingy- you need to take care of YOU, first.

So if it isn’t a physical ailment that is making you feel shitty, then what is it, exactly? Do you “feel fat”? Is your hair not cooperating today? Do you not feel modern or young? Do you just feel blah?

Pinpoint what exactly is making you feel less than and then move on to step numero dos, mamacita.

Step #2: Visualize WHO is profiting from YOU not liking YOU. I guaranteeee you, RIGHT freaking now, there are meetings taking place focusing on how marketers and companies can manipulate you to spend your hard af working money on their products and services.

And I can also tell you that the vast majority of these companies use scare tactics, scarcity models, and annnnnyyy other trick up their slimy little sleeves to make you spend money to feel better about yourself. (Omg just thinking about it has steam coming out of my EARS, you guys.)

So, here is what I want you to do. I want you to literally envision a circle and you are standing outside this circle. Okay, do you have your circle in your head? In the circle we have the blood sucking marketers, the flawless Instagram influencers, the blaring ads and media presence that scream that you just aren’t good enough. This circle is FULL of everything and everyone that makes you feel like a worthless piece of shit.

Tell me you have been the depressed yellow sad face before!?
Continue reading “Feeling Ugly? Follow My Hilarious AF Steps to Turn Your Day Around.”
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17 Quick Affirmations That Will INSTANTLY Help You Feel Better About YOU

Do you ever use affirmations? An affirmation is a POSITIVE message you tell yourself to replace a negative concept you have about yourself. The whole concept of positive affirmations may really rub some of you the wrong way. You may be thinking, I just think something positive and then I believe it? Nope.

Perhaps you could get into the practice of using THIS mantra!?

But you know WHAT!? Your thoughts are SO wildly strong, that YES, if you continue to practice a specific positive affirmation, you WILL start to believe in its message and feel better about YOU.

For an affirmation to work, consider the following:

  • Repeat your affirmation on a consistent, regular basis
  • If possible, repeat the affirmation into a mirror so you can see yourself saying it
  • Create affirmations that are focused on YOU and your specific needs
  • Recite your affirmations in the present tense
  • Write down your affirmation from time to time, or look at your affirmation in written form as well as repeating it to yourself
  • IF you are comfortable with this…ask another individual to repeat your affirmation to YOU. When you hear someone else express a sentiment, it can be very effective.

Soooo when should you use these bad boys!? Use affirmations when you need a pep talk. Try using affirmations in the following places of your life:

Continue reading “17 Quick Affirmations That Will INSTANTLY Help You Feel Better About YOU”
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Summer Is Coming. Here’s What You Should Be Thinking & Doing, Mama.

Have you been to Target lately!? Or Marshall’s? Or Kohl’s? Or ANY freaking store? Do you know where I’m going with this? The sunscreen is out, the pool toys are on displays, and those summer outfits are screaming for our attention.

Springtime is here and them marketers want. your. money.

I feel like women are subliminally alwayssss told that we are never ever enough through most marketing campaigns, but I feel like we get hit especially hard during this time of year.

We are told that our bodies have been in hibernation or something all winter long and now we MUST begin working out and eating “better” in order to be worthy enough to go on vacation or lounge by the pool.

We are confronted with these exercise programs telling us that we need to get “beach body ready” or we see ads that push for us to order self tanners and cellulite reducers now that Spring has arrived.

You know what? Eff that, man.

I am here to remind all of you fabulous, smart, savvy women that allllll that shit is a LIE. Collectively, we need to pause, and remember that we are enough. Period. No matter WHAT time of year it is.

Here are some common sense, no nonsense ideas I so desperately want you to keep in mind mama- especially as the weather warms up and those blood sucking marketers prey on some of our common insecurities:

Your body does not come in and out of vogue with the seasons. Uh, hello. I’m here to remind you: Your body does amazing and wonderful things 24/7, 365 days of the year. Not just during “swimsuit season”, not just during beach weather. Every. damn. day. Do NOT let another entity tell you otherwise. I’m getting riled up just thinking about this!!! I am ON my soapbox, mama!

So here’s what I want you to do- when you come across that ad campaign, or that Instagram post that makes you feel less than your best, you NEED to have a conversation with yourself. You NEED to change the narrative RIGHT then and there. Remind yourself of your strength, your grace, your everything that makes you awesome.

Remind yourself that social media is not realllllll and there are 7 BILLION of us out there, and half of that number are women. And we are REAL. We are trying our best to keep our heads up, to run households, to raise kids, to go work, and we don’t got the damn timmmmme for them to make us feel like crap. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Am I right?

Change the script. Have that healthy self talk, and keep your mind healthy during this time of aggressive marketing!

If you start a workout journey PLEASE do it for the right reasons. I LOVE working out. It is my therapy. (Well, actually I go to real therapy, but working out is like another formmmm of therapy, but I digress…)

I am SO sick of hearing women say things like, “I just need to tone up for our vacation” or “I’ve got a wedding to go to so I’m trying to lose weight.” I love all of you, but can. this. stoppppp?

How about instead we say: I’m choosing to eat healthier because I feel SO much better about myself when I do?

Or how about I am starting this workout journey because I deserve this time for myself?

Or what about I have family history of diabetes/heart disease/high cholesterol but I want to make positive changes for myself and my family?

What about… My KIDS deserve to see a mom who values herself enough to eat well and take care of her body?

Isn’t that SO much more POWERFUL you guys? Sorry I’m not sorry but FUCK your bikini. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR DAMN BIKINI. I care about YOU, girl.

So get on it, start that fitness journey, but DO NOT tell me it’s for them. DO it for YOU. You deserve it more than you know, mama!

You only get one freaking shot at this life, mama. You blink and your kid is walking, you blink again and they are talking in sentences, you blink anddd they are heading out the door, creating their own life. My point? This life goes crazzzzy fast.

I want you to get in that bathing suit and splash in the pool with your kids. I want you to hop on your bike and go for a ride with them. I want to see you building sandcastles and searching for those freaky little crabs at the beach.

Do you want your kids to look back on their childhood and wonder why you were never fully present during these times? Do you really want those nasty, lying voices in your own head control what you do with YOUR time? Hell no, mama.

Get out there and live it tf up. Your kids are counting on you. Show up for them and you know what, show up for YOU.

Do not engage in FOMO. Instead, make your life what you want it to be! Have you taken a LOOK outside, you guys? It is freaking gorgeoussss out there. If you are in southern California, our wet and cold winter has lead to like, EVERYTHING blooming. Yes, this has led to allergies for dayssss, but on a positive note, there are flowers everywhereeee.

People are going to start with the BBQs. There are going to be pool parties and trips to the beach and picnics. Let me ask you something? Do you want to be apart of that? I know I do!

But here’s the deal- you cannot wait for someone to hold out a golden invitation to you to join in on the fun. Sometimes YOU need to be the one to create an outing or a party. Yes, YOU. You are so capable. You are so fun. People want to spend time with YOU.

I do not care if you have dishes in your sink. I do not care if your event isn’t Pinterest worthy. What I care about is that you take steps to surround yourself with joy and community. People love to be with people. How empowering would that be for you to bring others together?

You will have excuse after excuse as to why you cannot invite people over or get everyone together for the pool or beach. You can already hear the excuses right?

You are too tired, you need to wait until XYZ, you don’t know how to get started… If you hold off, guess what? Those damn back to school sales will start up and BAM, everyone is back on the grind and Starbucks will be pumping out the Pumpkin Spice lattes before we know it.

So if you want something to happen for you during these beautiful warm weather months, if you want to make those memories for yourself and your family, you need to make it happen for yourself. You cannot wait for someone else to create it for you.

Imagine your best summer ever, then make it HAPPEN, mama.

Okay. Go forward this week like the BOSS you are, girl. Keep your chin up and your mind healthy. That mean girl voice in your head is nothing but a LYING bitch. Listen to me when I say you are enough.

I’m right there with ya, mama. Have a great week!


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How to Finally Go After Your Dreams Like the Boss You Are, Mama

When I tell people I teach middle school, I often get horrified looks and comments like, “I could never do that.” People want to hear the horror stories or they are curious about what today’s adolescent is really like.

Yes, middle school students are totally in that awkward stage between budding future leader and self absorbed child, but I think what might surprise most is how often these kids teach me things.

The other day my 6th grade students and I were were going over this short, but super powerful poem by Langston Hughes titled ‘Harlem’. Get educated and read the poem for yourself, mama! It’s a good one:


It’s a pretty powerful little piece of literature, right!? That Langston Hughes… he sure knew what he was talking about.

So, after reading the poem aloud a few times and finding the rhyme scheme and all that jazz, part of the lesson was for my students to engage in a discussion based off of a few questions that accompanied the poem.

The first question my students were asked to ponder was, “Why do you think people put off going after their dreams?” I looked at them and I said, “Guys we live in the best country in the WORLD. We have free will. We can do whateverrrr we want in our lives, right? So WHY do so many people out there putt off their hopes and their dreams?”

Those little sixth graders did not miss a BEAT, you guys. Hands were flying in the air:

“People just get so distracted you know? By everything else that they HAVE to do versus what they really want to do. Like with their job and their kids and their life.”

“Mrs. Roberts, people are SCARED of following their dreams. Sometimes they think their dream is too big and they think they just won’t be able to do it. They are afraid they will fail.”

“Sometimes, ya know, people can be embarrassed by their dream or they think someone might make fun of them. People can be so mean.”

Mamas. I. Was. Shook. I just stared at this group of 11 and 12 year olds with my mouth agape and I almost whispered, “Yea. Yea, you guys are so so right. All of that. All of that is so, so true.” It was like these kids were speaking directly to my HEART.

Every SINGLE thing my students mentioned about why people postpone their dreams, I had felt times 1,000. Actually going after what you really want is freaking terrifying, am I RIGHT?

But the whole thing just gets better you guys. Back to my class. (I hope you have your tea, sis.) So after my initial shock over how simplistic, yet profound my students’ first response was, I hit em with the second discussion question: “What do you think Langston Hughes would say to someone that was planning on putting off their dreams?”

The responses immediately started pouring in:

“He would say you only get one life!”

“He would tell you just go for it!”

“He would say even though it’s scary YOU CAN DO IT!”

And then this one kid, that never really has anything too special to say just blurted out, “He would tell you to GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY.”

You guys, I know it sounds dramatic, but I almost couldn’t speak. I was practically in tears. It was like these children spoke directly to my fears, and then told me, You can do it. Just go for your dreams, Mrs. Roberts.

Most of them haven’t been kicked in the teeth by life yet. Most of them haven’t yet experienced the aching pain of true failure. But that’s the exact reason why I was so moved by their words.

They are children. And I get that. Most of them haven’t been kicked in the teeth by life yet. Most of them haven’t yet experienced the aching pain of true failure. But that’s the exact reason why I was so moved by their words. What they had to say came from a place of true honesty and sincerity.

Don’t you just wish you could see the world through the eyes of a child just one more day? Don’t you wish you could hang on to the confidence and assurance that the universe will deliver you everything you want and need?

So, I did a thing. I left work that day with my students’ and Hughes’ voices rattling around in my heart and my head, and I went home, and you know what I did, guys? I started going after one of my dreams. I just did it before I could even really think about what I was doing to stop myself.

I had been keeping this dream quiet for awhile. It just seemed like too much. I could hear people I love telling me I already have too much on my plate. It just seemed silly. I was afraid that no one would like the idea. I was afraid people would think it was stupid. But I did it any way.

For awhile now I’ve had the dream of taking my blog and my ideas from the screen… and into the REAL world. Yep. I wanted to start something where I could meet with women face to face and work towards building an in-person community where women could come together, discuss their own fears, hopes and dreams, and just empower the hell out of one another.

So I created a Meet Up Group to do just that! For those of you not familiar with Meetup.com first of all, welcome to an awesome resource for finding cool events and people around you. You should SERIOUSLY take a look. Even if you’re not interested in my event, there are SO many ideas for you to check out! Seriously anything. Dogs, cooking, religion, crafts, cars, hiking, money… there a trillion different groups of people out there that want to meet YOU.

Truly, when I say I did it before I couldn’t stop myself, I’m not lying. At one point while I was setting up my group online, I had this idea that I needed to take a break and really think about the descriptions I wanted to include and blah blah blah.

Go to www.meetup.com to check out events and groups in your area. Do it!

But I decided to push through because I knew I NEEDED to get it done right then and there. And I was worried that if I took a break, I would never return to the site, finish the process of setting up the group, and my dream would still be sitting there, now in a server somewhere far, far away. Have you ever done that? Started in on something and then abandoned it because you were just too busy, or too afraid to actually go for it?

You guys, when I finally pressed submit to make my group live, I was a mess. Those thoughts of self-doubt and fear were raging. I busied myself with tasks around the house and pushed the whole thing from my mind.

I didn’t advertise my group on any other social media platform. I didn’t tell ANYONE that I had created a group. Instead I just kept quiet about it and I truly thought that no one would sign up to attend my event, the date would come and go, and I could at least say I tried to a certain extent.

But then the craziest thing happened, you guys. Women, started to JOIN my GROUP. And THEN… women RSVP’d that they would ACTUALLY ATTEND MY EVENT. And these are like real life people from the world.

It’s not like I called my mom and was like, Mom please join this group so I have at least one member and I don’t look like a complete loser. God only knows I have done that before though. Aint no shame in that game, either. (And thanks, for all the times you have done that for me, Mom.)

So it’s happening. Next week I’m actualizing my dream. I’m facilitating an event that will feature journaling, discussion, and fitness. I’m going to have the cucumber strawberry infused water, (I’ve mentioned the cucumber-strawberry infused water like 46,000 times already to anyone that will listen. I just feel that it will really set the mood.)

You guys, I am scared to DEATH. I still have those fears like, who am I to set up this group? Why would someone want to listen to me? But you know what? That voice is an effing liar. I’m doing this, you guys. This blog has empowered me and so many of you out there and now… I’m bringing it to the real world. I do have important things to say, so I’m going to say them.

And you know WHAT? YOU have important things to say. YOU have a bad ass story to tell. So what are your dreams?? Do you want to become certified to teach a class? Do you want to take up a new creative hobby that will serve as a well deserved outlet? Do you want to go back to school? Do you want to switch you career? Is your dream so freaking big that you don’t even WANT to tell anyone about it? That’s when you KNOW you’ve got a good one, girl.

Check out Meetup.com and if you are interested, I would LOVE for you to join my event. If you do attend, it will be our little secret that while I am smiling and leading and empowering you, I’ll also be nervous and terrified expecting everyone to pack up and leave 5 minutes in because they think I suck…

But know that I’m gonna show tf up any way. I’m going to be scared as hell, but I’m going to do this. And I’m going to kick some serious ass. I’m going after this dream, you guys.

So in the spirit of my 6th graders, remember, you only get one life, you can do it, and just GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY. Don’t let those dreams die. Dream it and make it happen, girl. You are worth it.

Have a great week friends. I’m right there with ya in them trenches. We got this.

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Friday’s Challenge: Move That Bod of Yours, Mama!

HOW can you feel empowered, happy, and ready to take on the world if you do not appreciate and care for the amazing vessel that carries you through this thing called life!? I argue it’s impossible.

Today’s challenge serves as a reminder that daily moment is vital for mental clarity and health. I want you to do something, anything, that will get you up and moving, sending those happy little exercise endorphins zipping through ya.

Instead of going straight to pick up my kids from work, I went home, grabbed the dog, and we walked! Easy peasy way to get some steps in & promote healthy living with my kids.

I do love me a good gym sesh, that’s for damn sure, but guess WHAT? I am unable to get to the gym most days with my current schedule. But I do everything in my power to move my body in SOME way each and every day.

Some options include:

  • Finding a quick Youtube workout to complete before bed
  • Taking the kids to the park and walking around the playground
  • Doing lunges across your living room
  • Playing with your kids (We call it playing “ninjas” at our house…)
  • Turning on your new favorite jam and dancing your ass off (my personal favorite!)
  • Taking that class at the gym you’ve been wanting to try
  • Going on that hike you’ve been thinking about
  • Doing a little yoga to find your zen

Whatever you do, mama, remember that you are blessed to have that body of yours. The media, and society, and our messed up brains wants us to believe otherwise, but we have got to push back.

We have to remember that our bodies are worthy of love and respect. They have done, and will continue to do amazing things for us.

I truly hope you enjoyed my week long challenge! It has been a blast putting together this content and inspiring and motivating all of you. Now get on it mama! Move that precious body of yours! You deserve it.


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Thursday’s Challenge: Make Some Awesome AF Plans With Your Tribe

It. Is. THURSDAY, PEOPLE! We are getting there!

Can I ask you something? How would you like to have a little something in your life to look forward to help you get through the mundane or crappy aspects of your week? What if you knew, in the back of your mind that this weekend, or maybe next weekend, or next Thursday or WHENEVER, you have that super fun event/dinner/exercise session/whateverrrr planned with your girlfriends?

Do you think that may help your focus and your energy knowing that good times are assured to be ahead? Well, mamas I want you to MAKE. IT. HAPPEN.

That’s right. Today’s challenge is about reaching out to your people and creating a get-together that will help you push through the rest of this week with focus and positivity.

Make them plans & have something awesome to look forward to!

And holy smokes, it can be smallllll. Make it small! I’m all about the little things because they truly can have a big impact! You do not neeeeed to get them heels and head to the club with your girlfriends, ya know? (But for sure, do that if that’s your jam, by all means. I like that about you.)

I’m talking itty-bitty plans. I’m talking a walk around the park with your neighbor. I’m talking coffee session in your kitchen mid-morning Sunday. I’m talking making those dinner plans for the next week so you can pull together childcare.

When women make a conscious decision to surround themselves with other women, amazing things happen. You’ve got cheerleaders and friends and people who are STOKED for the things you’ve got going on in your life. You’ve got people who will actively listen to you and hear you and support you.

That is powerful stuff, mamas. And HEAR ME when I say, we need MORE of that in our lives, like BIG time. We need to seek out our worth and remind ourselves that sometimes, the laundry or the dishes or the shopping or enter the trilllllion of other tasks we accomplish each week can WAIT.

I give you permission to press pause, reach out to your people, and be with them in whatever context you can.

Can you PLEASE do this?? Can you PLEASE text or call or Skype or smoke signal your gang girl and make some awesome af plans? You will be SO happy you did, mama, I promise!

Mamas, lets come together and do amazing and powerful and amazing things to round out the end of this week. I’m getting my warpaint make-up on, and I’m ready. I’m right there with ya. Make them plans with yo people! Okay, Thursday, let’s freaking do this.


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The Get Empowered Mama Challenge is HERE!

Mama Army!  It is ON!  I have put together a simple, but super powerful week long challenge that will help you not only empower yourself, but the other bad ass babes around you.  How awesome is that!?  I love a good win-win.

Every day this week I will be posting a small, but powerful challenge that is intended to help you recognize your power and your worth, and help you remain present.

This is NOT going to be difficult, I promise.  Many of these exercises and activities can be done in a matter of mere seconds, but they will leave you feeling pumped, present, and ready to take on the world.

I feel SO strongly that when we put good things into the universe like love, joy, positivity, and we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, amazing things happen in return.

Look for my posts each day this week to join in and feel free share comments, pictures, stories or any other good stuff about how you are completing the challenge.

Mamas, let’s change this freaking world.  Let’s make it what WE want it to be.  Are you in!?  I can’t wait!

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You NEED to Try this Easy Go-To Breakfast That Will Keep You Full for HOURS!


My Chronic Disease

Heads up mamacitas: there may be a few affiliate links in my posts! If you were to purchase something through these links, you wouldn’t pay a penny more, but I would receive a small commission. Okay! Keep reading on!

When I was diagnosed at the age of 14 with Type 1 Diabetes, my relationship with food altered tremendously. It KILLED me to see kids literally eating giant cookies for lunch and then just waltzing on with their day with enough energy to slay a dragon.

Me? I was learning to cope with finger pokes, insulin injections, and GNARLY highs and lows in my blood sugar. I was also learning that I could NOT eat a giant cookie for lunch without falling asleep in my next class and feeling drained for the rest of the afternoon.

I am PROOF that you can live with a chronic disease and it doesn’t have to stop you or define you, mamas.

Flash forward like, 17 years and here I am, mamas. Still kicking it with the good old betes, still jabbing myself for my blood sugar readings (however, now I use my arm), and I’m rocking an insulin pump like a b-o-s-s. (Buh-bye injections, you are the devil.)

I think, well, at least I really hope, that most people mature and come to recognize that eating like a nasty teenager is not going to serve you well as you hurtle towards adulthood. And what I recognize now is that out of sheer necessity, I was forced into healthier eating habits much earlier in life than my peers. It made me SO freaking mad… but I understand now that it has helped me in life, for sure.

I KNOW there are many people out there that just lovvvve food. They love the prep, they love the presentation, and the actual consuming the food is like, a love affair. And I get that, and I respect that, but that sure as hell is not me. I’m one of those people where if I could just press a button and not be hungry, BOOM, button pressed, and I’m on to my next task.

Continue reading “You NEED to Try this Easy Go-To Breakfast That Will Keep You Full for HOURS!”
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3 Fail-Proof Ways to Have an Epic Valentine’s Day

FYI Mama Army: There are a few affiliate links in this post. If you were to purchase a product via any of these links, I would receive a small commission.  Read on with yo bad self…

I have ALWAYS loved Valentine’s Day. I love the decorations, I love the silly cards, I love the kitschiness of it all. The blood-sucking marketers out there want you to think otherwise, but for the record- Valentine’s Day is a cheesy, insignificant holiday. However, it does serve as a day to pause and show the people in your life how much you love them and appreciate them. And I guess that IS important. It’s such a shame that so many people get sucked into believing that in order to have a valid Valentine’s Day, you need to drop a lot of money, or go to a fancy restaurant, or do something elaborate to impress a partner or your loved ones. Nooo. Stoppp itttt. Can I just say I would rather stab myself in my eye repeatedly than go to restaurant on Valentine’s Day!? (I’m not the only one that feels that way, right!?)

Mamas, when we take our last breath and leave this world, we won’t remember the fancy dinners, or the elaborate dates. We won’t. What we are really going to remember are the teeny tiny moments that serve to make our hearts whole. While I was growing up my mom worked as a teacher so she had to leave the house early most mornings, but every little holiday like Valentine’s Day, she made sure to do something special for my sister and me. She would tape paper hearts to the bathroom mirror to surprise us. She would pour us milk and add iAmscan 509618 Key to Your Heart Beverage Napkins One Size Multicolor""“>Valentine’s Day napkin tucked into our lunch.

Pink milk makes for a fun and simple Valentine’s Day treat!

Mamas, THAT is what I remember about Valentine’s Day. The love that I got from MY MOM. How utterly powerful is that? And you know WHAT? I honestly cannot conger up one memory of a sexy, hot, super fun Valentine’s Day spent with a partner. I mean, hell, I wish the universe blesses you with HEAPS of this these memories, but I just cannot recall any of them! And I think when we set ourselves up to believe that someone else should be sending us flowers, or making reservations at that new restaurant, we forget about the little ways that we can give and receive love. And to be honest, those have ended up being the biggest things for me. Those are the things that have stayed in my heart.

So girl, I want you to take the bull by the horns and I am working to empower YOU to do everything in your power to have the best Valentine’s Day possible this year. Here are a few simple ways to find the joy in this holiday to help you create a day that is truly filled with love:

Make it what YOU want it to be. We all envision different concepts of what would make our Valentine’s Day super sweet. So, do you really want to go to that cute new restaurant? Then make the effing reservation. Do you want some flowers? Then buy yourself the damn flowers. (You guys I cannot TELL you what happens to my soul when I buy myself flowers. Every once in a blue moon my local Sprouts will have flowers on clearance, and my heart and soul REJOICE when I put them into my cart. Angels sing.)

What I’m saying is, if you have this idea in your head of what you want your Valentine’s Day to be, then you need to work to make that shit happen for yourself. Do NOT WAIT for someone to do it for you. Light some candles, get out the ingredients for a special meal and invite some people over. Do you know how many people out there would love to spend time in your company!? Like, so so many. Me! I would!

Mama, buy yourself the damn flowers, ya hear!?

Or, simply purchase some Valentine’s Day decorations to liven up your abode. Newsflash: You do NOT need to have a Pinterest worthy home to be able to enjoy yourself this coming V-Day. Just putting a freaking plastic table cloth over my table makes me feel giddy. (If you don’t have time to shop, look here for some super cute V-Day decorations that can make it to your doorstep before the big day.)

Go on a hike, take a class at your gym, try the sip and paint night. There really are so many options out there. Bottom line is though, in order to have a memorable Valentine’s Day you actually have to do the work to decide what you want your today to look like and then you have to remember that you are worthy of enjoying this holiday on your own terms. And then you know what you do, mama? You go tf after it because you deserve it so much.

Give like a mofo. I absolutely love to give to others and I can’t think of a better time to show the people around you your love and appreciation for them than Valentine’s Day! You may think that Valentine’s Day cards are exclusively given to kids and lovers, but I completely disagree. (Again, I’m choosing to make this day what I want it to be!) And when I say give, I don’t mean chocolates or stuffed animals, or handmade cookies, or yet another mindless gift that you hand off and people forget in 2.5 seconds. This year I plan on passing out simple, hand-written notes to the people on my teaching team. Seriously, when is the last time that you got a HAND WRITTEN note?

Write a short, to the point genuine compliment or sentiment on the card and you will make that person’s DAY! You could do this for the other moms at drop-off, the crossing guard that works to get your kids to school safely, or that special neighbor that always brightens your day. Can you imagine that person coming home and putting that special card on their fridge, or up on their mantle? And each time they look at it, it makes them feel special and appreciated? That is SO big, you guys. YOU could do that for someone so easily.

A sweet note with a genuine compliment or sentiment is the best Valentine’s Day gift I can imagine.

Give your love by striking up a conversation with a new person, or simply smile at a stranger. Let yourself be soft and inviting to the universe instead of keeping your heart and mind to yourself. You have so much love to give, and when you give it, I swear to you, it will come back to you tenfold. (You can also check out these gifts that contribute to a good cause!)

Do the unexpected. People have a tendency to have a lousy Valentine’s Day because they have this idea in their head of what a Valentine’s Day should look like. But as I’ve been saying, in life, you get to decide, girl. Bundle up and grab the marshmallows and chocolate and head outside for a bonfire. Too cold where you are!? Make smores on your stove or in your fireplace! Take 20 minutes to be present with your kids by busting out the board games or Twister. Tell your kids about how it felt when you got to hold them for the first time and the love you experienced in that moment. That’s a heck of a Valentine right there.

Another unexpected idea: teach your children to give to other by working together to donate your time to a local shelter, or work with your kids to clear out their toys to give to Goodwill. (Here is a great article about how to encourage your kids to willingly donate their toys.)

Mama, have an amazing, joy-filled Valentine’s Day by making it exactly what you want it to be. Do something fancy and extra, or reject that completely an go the opposite direction and find your zen in the simplistic. I just hope that you take the time to recognize that this day was meant for you as much as it was made for anyone else. Have a great week and I hope I see you in the check out line getting that gorgeous bouquet of flowers. I’ll be right there with ya, girl.

Continue reading “3 Fail-Proof Ways to Have an Epic Valentine’s Day”
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3 Strategies to Help Turn That Sh*tty Day Around

By societal standards, I have pretty horrible skin. Oddly, my complexion was relatively normal during my teen years and it wasn’t until my pregnancies that my skin from hell really revved up. Suuuuper cool for all of you out there that got to rock that gorgeous pregnancy glow. That was not my journey. Yours truly looked like a ruddy, pock marked 14 year old teenage boy.

A few years ago I was watching this cop show that featured female officers in their line of duty. It was so inspiring to watch these women excel in this male dominated career and just completely kick some ass, and take some names. I will never forget this one particular episode that featured a prostitution sting. You know what I’m talking about, right? The female cop dresses up to appear to be a hooker and then she “works the street” attempting to find dirt bags that are willing to pay for sex. And then, you know, the nasty guy falls for it, they negotiate a deal, and they go back to a hotel room. In the next room over there’s a million other cops waiting to arrest the dirt bag and then BOOM, everyone swarms with a million guns and it’s like, “You are DONE son!!” The cops are everywhere, the John goes to jail, and the streets are safer with one less deplorable creep out there. You get the drift.

So that is what this female cop was attempting to do during this episode. She was attempting to get the creepy guys to believe she was a hooker. But you’ve gotta hear this. This female cop was so freaking gorgeous, none of the creepy guys were falling for this act that she was a prostitute. I kid you NOT at one point during the episode, the lady cop looks at the camera and dead ass says, “I just don’t have the crack whore skin. They aren’t falling for it. I’m too pretty.” I’m too pretty. And this didn’t come from a place of vanity- homegirl was just speaking her truth. She legit was just too healthy and gorgeous looking to be considered a prostitute. She even rubbed dirt all over her effing face you guys, in attempt to dirty herself up and she still couldn’t convince anyone she was a prostitute. Can you reread that last line please? It’s fine, everything is fine, I’m fine.

I swear to you, ALL I could think of when I watched this episode was… Um, do you want to hire me to be the fake prostitute?? (Yea, I never thought I would say those words…) I could take off all my make up. You could hand me a trashy looking trench coat of some variety and maybe some beat up high heels and I tell you WHAT- I would have the Johns just linin’ up for daysssss.

THAT is how bad my skin is, my friends.

And for the longest time felt so BADLY about my bad skin. Like, I felt the need to apologize to the world for it. If, on a rare occasion, I went out with little to no makeup on and I saw someone I knew, I felt this need to let them know, that I KNOW that I have a bad complexion. Sort of like, “Omg, hi! So nice to see you! Yes, my skin is atrocious- I see you looking at me with utter disgust. I’m so sorry.” And I just felt bad about it. Like, how dare I show my face in the world with no makeup when I look like this? I’m not telling you about this delightfully unhealthy thought process to earn your sympathy, because I really don’t need it. I’m telling you this because I’m at this point in my life where I’m like, okay, you know what? I don’t have a clear complexion, but… WHO CARES? I’m so. freaking. tired over feeling bad and embarrassed and self conscious about it. Do you have anything like that in your life? Do you have something that you are just soooo tired of feeling bad over? Loose skin, moles, your teeth, your hair, your boobs, your weight?

Andddd this is my skin on the upswing, people.

Ladies, I’ll tell you what- I’m done. I’m done feeling badly about things that I shouldn’t have to feel badly about. I’m done with the shame, and the fear of being judged, and the utter mental fatigue that comes along with those feelings. And you know what I’m doing, you guys? I’m taking all that energy that I would have spent on feeling like shit and I’m effing reclaiming it. That’s right. I’m taking it back. So I’ve got some zits on my face. So your boobs are aren’t perky anymore after breastfeeding 3 kids. So you have some cellulite on your thighs. Okay. And what? AND WHAT? You are NOT your breasts, or your cellulite, or your complexion. You are SO much more than that. You are beauty and light and energy and power, mama. You have creative ideas, you have meaningful opinions. Mama, you freaking run the show in your home… and ALSO in your HEAD.

So here are a few ideas I put together for what you can think about/do the next time you have one of those days where you are just feeling badly about shit you don’t need to feel badly about. You can also take a look at this post for even more ideas and strategies to help empower you to turn your day around. Please try them and let me know your thoughts!

Embrace the hell out of it. That’s RIGHT, ladies. You heard me. Embrace those days when you look like crap. You’re probably like, okay I’ll just be closing this tab right about now because this chick is straight up bogus, but HEAR ME OUT. This is the way I have come to embrace my days when I just look and feel out of sorts/just really ugly:

Okay, to explain this we need to take a step back. You know those days when you are just BEAMING and you look GOOD girl, and your hair is gorgeous because you just washed it after 6 days (just me?), and the fashion gods have blessed you by helping you select an outfit that is just on point and like 2.5 co-workers have complimented you and strangers are smiling at you and you’re just like YES. I SLAY. Tell me you have those days every once in awhile?! (I summon the universe to give you thousands of these days, mama.) My question to you is this, (and this is what I pose to myself, right there with you) HOW are you supposed to have those amazing, gorgeous hair, outfit-on-point, confidence bursting days, without having the days when you look average, so-so, or just plain bad? You can’t. You have to have some ying with the yang, ya know!? It’s the same concept in that we llneed to know struggle and heart break and pain in order to reallly understand and appreciate joy. If every single day you are striving to look like a celebrity…what room does that leave for those truly amazing days when you really do feel like a million bucks?

What I’m trying to say is that we were not meant to look picture perfect day after freaking day, every day of our lives. When did that expectation start!? We scroll through social media seeing gorgeous pictures and suddenly we think that everyone leaves the house looking put together and on point, 100% of the time. Can I just take a moment to remind EVERYONE out there that social media is FAKE!? Have you guys seen that quote out there that says, “Pretty is not the rent you pay to exist in this world”? PREACH. I’m learning to embrace my not so good days because there is such power in them, you guys. When the world expects you to look a certain way, and you don’t deliver, but you STILL show up and you’re still amazing and powerful and you don’t apologize, that is revolutionary. Look the world in the eye and say, I’m bloated, I’m greasy, I have acne… and WHAT? When you know your power and your worth, no one can take it away from you. Show up no matter freaking what, mamacita.

Reach TF out. I have this horrible habit of isolating myself when I feel down. Omg, you do too?! You guys, I’m really trying to change that bad habit. I’ve come to realize that when I reach out to others and make even the smallest connection, I feel so much better. I’m not telling you to send out a group text message to all of your girlfriends telling them you are on the struggle bus and that your day is shit. Mamas, making a connection with another human being even in the SMALLEST way can do WONDERS for your mood.

Try having a meaningful conversation with a co-worker or a family member. Compliment a complete stranger when you are line waiting to pay. Text your bud to set up some plans for the weekend. Post an inspirational quote to your social media and tag someone that you think it could help. When we make a conscious effort to choose positivity, it’s freaking CRAZY you guys, but the universe responds with positivity. So the next time you are feeling down about whatever, push out of your comfort zone and reach out to someone- anyone.

Smile. Okay seriously don’t punch me. Hear me out, mama. The body-mind connection is so real and so powerful that we can harness that connection to help us feel better. According to an article by Psychology Today when we smile, we can actually trick ourselves into thinking we feel better than we do. I know you have experienced this. It happens to me all the time. I’m feeling lousy, so I kind of hype myself up and I “pretend” to be happy. But before I know it, I’m actually feeling so much better because the people around me are vibing off of my “fake” happiness, which then turns into actual good happy feelings. Crazy town how that works.

The article explains, “Facial feedback works because the brain senses the flexion of certain facial muscles (like the zygomatic major, which is required to smile) and interprets it as “Oh I must be happy about something.” Similarly, if that muscle isn’t flexed then your brain thinks, “Oh, I must not be happy”.

In addition to the direct neural feedback, in the real world you also get the added advantage of social feedback. Smiles are infectious (perhaps another post on mirror neurons in the future). So even if you don’t feel much happier, the people around you are more likely to smile, and that can improve your mood as well.”

I’ll tell you what, I know a lot of boss babes out there with a killer RBF (Resting Bitch Face), and I love that about you all. But if you are having a bad day and you are trying to turn it around, just experiment with this strategy for like, ten minutes and see what happens. When we see others return a happy smile, it can help you to forget that bad hair day, or the fact that you don’t feel 100%. I’m smiling just thinking about it.

Mamas, take back that energy. Take the self loathing, the anxiety, the self doubt and turn it into what YOU want it to be. NO ONE gets to tell you how to feel besides YOU. Reach out to a stranger, smile a little, and embrace the hell out of that shitty day. I hope you all have a joy filled, positivity, healthy week. I hope the fashion gods bless you. I hope you make a friend. I hope more than anything you empower yourself and you work to empower others. I’m right there with ya, mama. xoxo Emily

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