STOP Doing it ALL, Mama. Try This Instead.

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Mamas, I want to start off by telling you that you’re doing a great job.  You’re probably taking care of kids, working a bunch of hours a week, making a boatload of meals, and holding it tf down for your family.  PLEASE understand that you are a bad ass and that you deserve to give yourself grace.  I have to remind myself of this constantly.  What I also have come to realize through my journey of women empowerment, is that as women, we have this tendency to put up a veneer that isn’t a reflection of our truest self.  We live in this society of social media and instant gratification and we so desperately want everyone to believe that we have it together and we are just fine.  And you know what?  That is suchhhh bullshit, you guys.  Do you know what I’ve started to do?  It is SO empowering.  When someone asks me how I’m doing, you know what I say?  I say, “You know, things have been better, but I’m pushing through.”  And I started responding this way to people to try to be more real with myself.

I want to be a more genuine human being.  But GUESS WHAT happens, you guys?  When you tell others that you’re going through some shit, and your life isn’t as perfect as you would want… other mamas around you start to open up, as well.  I guarantee that if you spend a little more being real with the people around you, asking some questions and actually, truly listening, you will find that all of us are struggling with something.

You know what I struggle with?  I am a horrible delegator.  HOW MANYYY TIMES have you said out loud to either yourself or a friend, “It’s just easier if I do it myself.”  Seriously.  HOW MANY TIMES, mamas!??  Because let’s face it, sometimes, okay, most of the time, it does sure seem easier.  Lemme give you a scenario that I’m not really proud to admit happens like all the time at my house.  So here’s Mama Emily, she was up at 5am, out the door by 6, worked her ass off all day teaching emotionally draining students, commuted about an hour home only to pick up the house, empty the dishwasher and then start dinner.  (Lemme stop and say this- I am blessed.  I am not complaining about my life.  I completely and utterly understand that I am privileged af to have a job, a house, and healthy kids.  I know soooo many people out there pray for the things I have.  With that said, this is a post about how I am working to make my situation better than it currently is.)  Mama Emily has asked her sweet and fully capable children to clean up their toys and set the table like 7 times by now, but they are literally rolling on the floor, either crying over the fact that I told them to turn off the damn iPad, or they are finding the lint in the carpet much more interesting than following directions and getting chores done.  Continue reading “STOP Doing it ALL, Mama. Try This Instead.”

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How I Rocked My Hawaii Trip With My Kids

It was NOT supposed to go down like this. Not at all. A milllllion percent not what I had envisioned for myself and my kids. Hawaii. It’s supposed to be paradise, right? Try jumping on a plane and heading to Maui literally two days after you have served your spouse divorce papers. Yea, not a very cheerful experience. Now, you may be sitting there thinking to yourself, “Why even GO!? I would rather just stay home!” And you know what friends, I did contemplate that. I did consider staying home to avoid the pain that was the death of my fantasy vacation. But then a couple things started jangling around in this head of mine.

“You have been telling your kids you’re going to Hawaii for months. Their mom should be there with them.”

“Hey, guess who helped pay for the airline tickets and the room? Uh, you. You worked your ass off for this.”

“Even though it isn’t what you thought it was going to be…you can still have fun.”

“Hey Emily, you DESERVE this.”

So I went, guys. I freaking went to Hawaii with my husband that I’m splitting from and my two small children and I’m here to tell you I survived. And if I’m being honest, I didn’t just survive. I had such joyful and beautiful moments during this trip that I feel strengthened as a mom, woman, and human being.

Did I cry a few times? Yes. Did I experience wicked self doubt? Oh yes. But I stopped and I breathed, I reflected on a few of my mantras, and I remembered that I’m strong and capable and I have so much to be grateful for. And then I pushed on, mamas.

For anyone that experiences anxiety, you’ll know going to new places can make you feel uncomfortable. And I’m sure some of you reading this know that can be an understatement! Add on being solely responsible for young children and it takes it to a whole other level. It can make you want to stay right in your bubble. You may tell yourself you can’t leave the safety and comfort of your house, or your hotel room, or your routine for fear of losing control. I get you, mama. But pop the damn bubble and go. You just gotta do it. Continue reading “How I Rocked My Hawaii Trip With My Kids”

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10 Things the Empowered Woman In Your Life Wants & Needs!

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Yes, this post contains affiliate links.  I do receive a commission if you were to purchase something via the link in this blog.  Please know, I would never recommend something I do not fully believe in!  Please check out my disclosure page if you would like more info.

That smarty Jeff Bezos (founder of Amazon) has got us all amped up for Amazon Prime Day!  I thought I would put together some fun things that the empowered women in your life totally want and need.  Remember, it is NEVER too late to start getting your Christmas shopping done!

Frida Kahlo backpack/purse

Who wouldn’t want to rock this cool backpack with one of the world’s most influential and amazing female artists on it!?

The Handmaid’s Tale

If you are a fan of the show, then you NEED to read the OG book.  I read this in college and it gave me GOOSEBUMPS.  It is such a powerful reminder that women’s right are human rights.

Empowered Woman Coloring Book

Who doesn’t love to color!?  Relax, focus, and empower yourself with the positive messages found in this fierce coloring book.

Rad Women Worldwide Book

You need this for your coffee table.  Duh.  Educate yourself by learning about powerful women that have paved the path for the rest of us.

Delicate Flower Socks

Maybe you can wear these under your boots this coming fall!?  Or how about loud and proud at the gym?  You are such an amazing delicate effing flower, mama.  Get itttt. Continue reading “10 Things the Empowered Woman In Your Life Wants & Needs!”

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Get What You Want Out of Life with the WOOP Strategy

This post contains affiliate links.  Yes, I make a commission if you were to purchase something through a link on this post, but I would never recommend something I do not personally love!

WOOP, there it is, mama!  Okay, no, this isn’t a 90’s rap song or an annoying thing people yell out when they’re excited. Developed by psychology professor Gabriele Oettingen of NYU, the WOOP strategy is a simple mental exercise that will help you reach your life goals so you can start feeling empowered to live your best life, baby.  WOOP stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan.

WHY is it that so often when we face the first setback in accomplishing our goals, we throw in the towel, run the other way, and hang our heads in failure?  We have alllll been there.  How many diets have you started, how many projects have you thrown yourself into, or how many classes have you started, only to quit, maybe not even halfway through?  How horrible is that feeling!?  So often we give up on our goals because we do not have a specific plan in place to help us conquer them.  We become overwhelmed, we beat ourselves up, and we say we aren’t worth it any way.   But you know what?  You ARE worth it, mama.  You just gotta WOOP yourself through it!  With this strategy, you are more likely to feel prepared to take on the challenges associated with getting to that goal, whatever it may be. Continue reading “Get What You Want Out of Life with the WOOP Strategy”

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5 Things You NEED to STOP Saying to Empower Yourself, Mama!

This post contains a few affiliate links.  Please know I would never recommend a service or product that I do not love and personally use!  You can check out my disclosure page if you have any questions or concerns.  

Yo I’m Emily, I’m 30, and I’m going through some roughhhh times.  I’m fighting a lot of nasty head noise these days, but I’m doing my best to empower myself and come out of my situation stronger than ever.  I’m doing everything I can to show up, be present, and spread positivity to myself and those around me (especially to the awesome mamas out there that are working hard and holding it down!).  I’ve found that there are some ideas that have been floating around in my head for awhile that are not healthy and are actually holding me back as a woman.  I’ve made the decision to consciously remove them from my brain. Here are five things we need to give up in our vocabulary, ladies.

I just need ________________ and then I’ll be happy.  I need to lose weight, I need to be better about getting to the gym, I need more friends, I need to make more money, I need my skin to clear up, I need this man to make me feel special, I need to have this many likes on social media… The list could go on and ON.  No. NOOOOO.  You don’t need ANY of that shit to be happy.  Lemme say that again for the people in the back: YOU DO NOT NEED EXTRINSIC THINGS IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY.  Okay, I’m going to say something truly cliche and you may wanna punch me… You guys, happiness comes from inside your own brain.  Truly.  I read this AMAZING AF article that was originally published by The Cut that centered on an extremely popular course at Yale.  The class is alllll about how to be happy.  Seriously.  A course designated to help people legitimately learn what happiness is and effective strategies for how to obtain happiness.  I read this article like, every week to remind myself of its merits!!  I’m not kidding. Continue reading “5 Things You NEED to STOP Saying to Empower Yourself, Mama!”

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How I Free Up 3+ Hours of My Weekend by Using THIS

There’s totally affiliate links in here, I’m not going to lie to you.  But I would NEVER promote a product or service that I do not completely believe in and use personally.  Please see my disclosure page for more info.

Hi, I’m Emily and when I’m not kicking ass in the gym or getting snacks for my kids for the millionth time or contemplating my new life as a person going through a divorce…I’m teaching sixth graders!  (If you would like to hear more about what led me on this journey of empowering myself and other women, check out this post, mama.)  Yes, that’s my day job, mamas.  I feel so blessed to be able to say that I really do love my career.  Teaching is such a phenomenally rewarding, intense, evolving, and dynamic profession.  But if you have never actually sat in and observed a teacher (and I mean a good teacher that believes in their work and brings it 100% each day) then you wouldn’t truly understand how it can also be so so so draining.  I spend many of my days in constant motion, moving around from table to table, interacting with 90 + kids, using my teacher voice, redirecting Johnny for the 14th time, and trying everything in my human ability to get these awesome kids to learn a new concept.  And when I come home, I am so. freaking. tired.

I know I am preaching to the choir that our weekends go by in a flash.  (PREACH, mama!)  I, like so many other people out there, used to spend a good chunk of my Saturday doing something I realllllly didn’t like doing: grocery shopping.  Yea, I know there are people that like to grocery shop and find it very therapeutic and blah blah blah.  I am NOT one of those individuals.  You know what I’m thinking about when I grocery shop?  Here, I’ll just give you a snippet of what is happening in my brain/what I am saying as I casually stroll down the bread aisle:

Okay I got the peanut butter…wait where’s Grant?  Omg he’s been abducted, and we are going to end up on Dateline.  Wait, no he’s right here.  Hmmm… do we have refried beans?  I should get some.  Wait, should I get some?  Didn’t I buy some last week?  Omg where is Grant?  Okay he’s here with Claire.  “NO we are NOT getting that, put it back NOW.” WHY are there like 4,000 people in this store right now?  WHY can’t my kids just stay by the cart, instead of suddenly becoming possessed by the grocery store goblin and acting like PSYCHOPATHS for the entire duration of this experience?  Ohhhh Poptarts, I do love Poptarts.  WAIT, where’s Claire!? Continue reading “How I Free Up 3+ Hours of My Weekend by Using THIS”

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My #1 Exercise to Push Through Tough Times & Empower Myself to Get On With My Day

I’m in a weird spot friends.  I’ve made the crazy painful and difficult decision that I need to end my marriage.  At times I feel SO insanely overwhelmed with the fact that my life is going to be dramatically changing during the course of this next year.  I freakkkk out when I think about Christmas (check out this post here to see how I am dealing with my holiday season fears), my kids having two different households, and what it will mean for me to be single woman in this crazy ass world. (Omg deep breaths)  Continue reading “My #1 Exercise to Push Through Tough Times & Empower Myself to Get On With My Day”

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Empower Yourself By Getting Ready for the Holidays…in JULY

I have a confession… I am not a Christmas kind of person.  Don’t leave!  It’s just that I get super overwhelmed thinking I have to participate in every traditional Christmas experience that goes along with the holiday:  making cookies, putting up the lights and tree, adding decorations around the house and outside, gifts for teachers, gifts for neighbors, gifts for this and that extended family member, caroling, family Christmas cards to send out (Omg am I even going to send those out this year!?)… The list goes on and on and I’m sure I’ve barely scraped the surface knowing all of you Christmas fanatics out there.

This year, I expect my holiday season to look very, very different.  Extremely different.  As a woman going through the initial stages of divorce, when I think about the holidays I want to ask for a rain check and go to sleep for like a million years.  When I first realized that my marriage was over and I was going to proceed with divorce, I literally sobbed thinking about Christmas.  HOW the HELL would I do this!?  Continue reading “Empower Yourself By Getting Ready for the Holidays…in JULY”

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How to Respond When People Tell You, “Your Daughter is SO Beautiful!”

I know everyone says their kids are gorgeous, but seriously guys, my daughter is gorgeous.  Yes, I KNOW I am biased, duh.  But I truly mean she is stunning.  If you have ever met Claire, then you would know this to be true.  Claire is part Indonesian, part Japanese, part Polish and 100% American.  Ever since she was a baby, complete strangers would make comments about her looks.  “Those eyes!”, “That skin!”  And if I’m being completely honest, my heart is filled with pride over that fact that I was apart of creating such a beautiful human.

Claire, now age 6 and half, completely understands what these strangers are saying about her when they offer these compliments to me.  While she knows people admire her for her unusual skin and eye combo, she doesn’t get what all the hype is about.  “Mama, do I have tan skin?”, she’ll ask me.  Or she’ll tell me, “My eyes are like daddy’s eyes.  Buddy doesn’t have eyes like me.”  She is becoming aware of herself and how others perceive her and it freaks me out. Continue reading “How to Respond When People Tell You, “Your Daughter is SO Beautiful!””

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5 Ways to Empower Yourself Like, NOW

How many times have you woken up and been like, “Today is the day I’m going to have so much patience and I’m gonna be the best __________ EVER and my hair is gonna look amazing!?”

And then reality hits and you lose it on your kids, forget that work email and/or meeting and you have zero time to do your hair? Me. All the time. And then I’m in the car after I drop my kids off from their before school care just crying those UGLY mom guilt tears, questioning everything I’ve ever done in my life. Truth. Continue reading “5 Ways to Empower Yourself Like, NOW”

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