It was NOT supposed to go down like this. Not at all. A milllllion percent not what I had envisioned for myself and my kids. Hawaii. It’s supposed to be paradise, right? Try jumping on a plane and heading to Maui literally two days after you have served your spouse divorce papers. Yea, not a very cheerful experience. Now, you may be sitting there thinking to yourself, “Why even GO!? I would rather just stay home!” And you know what friends, I did contemplate that. I did consider staying home to avoid the pain that was the death of my fantasy vacation. But then a couple things started jangling around in this head of mine.
“You have been telling your kids you’re going to Hawaii for months. Their mom should be there with them.”
“Hey, guess who helped pay for the airline tickets and the room? Uh, you. You worked your ass off for this.”
“Even though it isn’t what you thought it was going to be…you can still have fun.”
“Hey Emily, you DESERVE this.”
So I went, guys. I freaking went to Hawaii with my husband that I’m splitting from and my two small children and I’m here to tell you I survived. And if I’m being honest, I didn’t just survive. I had such joyful and beautiful moments during this trip that I feel strengthened as a mom, woman, and human being.
Did I cry a few times? Yes. Did I experience wicked self doubt? Oh yes. But I stopped and I breathed, I reflected on a few of my mantras, and I remembered that I’m strong and capable and I have so much to be grateful for. And then I pushed on, mamas.
For anyone that experiences anxiety, you’ll know going to new places can make you feel uncomfortable. And I’m sure some of you reading this know that can be an understatement! Add on being solely responsible for young children and it takes it to a whole other level. It can make you want to stay right in your bubble. You may tell yourself you can’t leave the safety and comfort of your house, or your hotel room, or your routine for fear of losing control. I get you, mama. But pop the damn bubble and go. You just gotta do it. Continue reading “How I Rocked My Hawaii Trip With My Kids”