Raise your hand if you’ve ever had one of those days where you just feel like you look like a bag of ass. ALL hands should be up, okay?! We have ALL been there. (And if you haven’t, you’re either one lucky son of a gun…or a LIAR.)
Maybe your makeup feels off, or your outfit is just blah, or you “feel” fat. All of it sucks, I know.
When you feel like you don’t physically look good, it can mess with your head, which in turns messes with your work production, how you interact with others, and so much more.
I’m going teach you how I take those days where I just feel like I look blah or my makeup is fugly or my outfit is nottt making me look 100% and I turn them into 100% winssss for me.
Step #1: Pinpoint what exactly is bothering you. There’s a BIG difference between not feeling well physically, versus not feeling like you look “good”. Make sure what you’re feeling isn’t actually hunger, or fatigue, or a nagging headache.
If you ARE feeling lousy due to one of those things, do everything in your power to address and it apply some self care. I give you permission to put off the laundry, or hold off on the emails, or whateverrrr it is that is hounding you and focus on taking care of your physical self.
I know that that last bit of advice may make some of you wanna punch me in the face, but seriously, if you don’t take care of YOU, everythingggg is going to fall apart. Mama, YOU run the show, remember? Just like in the plane with the oxygen mask thingy dingy- you need to take care of YOU, first.
So if it isn’t a physical ailment that is making you feel shitty, then what is it, exactly? Do you “feel fat”? Is your hair not cooperating today? Do you not feel modern or young? Do you just feel blah?
Pinpoint what exactly is making you feel less than and then move on to step numero dos, mamacita.
Step #2: Visualize WHO is profiting from YOU not liking YOU. I guaranteeee you, RIGHT freaking now, there are meetings taking place focusing on how marketers and companies can manipulate you to spend your hard af working money on their products and services.
And I can also tell you that the vast majority of these companies use scare tactics, scarcity models, and annnnnyyy other trick up their slimy little sleeves to make you spend money to feel better about yourself. (Omg just thinking about it has steam coming out of my EARS, you guys.)
So, here is what I want you to do. I want you to literally envision a circle and you are standing outside this circle. Okay, do you have your circle in your head? In the circle we have the blood sucking marketers, the flawless Instagram influencers, the blaring ads and media presence that scream that you just aren’t good enough. This circle is FULL of everything and everyone that makes you feel like a worthless piece of shit.
And I want you to envision allllll of these companies and people and groups in this circle… just laughing at you. They are looking at you outside of this circle and they are telling you everythingggg you need to do and change about yourself so that you too, can join them in this circle. Yep. They are pointing out all of your flaws and insecurities and promising you that if you just buy their products or services, if you just change yourself this way or that way, you too can join them so that you are not this loser outside of the circle.
Are you freaking mad right now visualizing this?? I sure am!! Get pumped for step number 3, yo. It’s a good one.
Step #3: Give those marketers and other individuals or entities that want you to doubt yourself the metaphorical BIRD. So now we have identified what is bothering us about what we look like today. Then, we thought about the people or groups that are preying on those insecurities and cashing in on the fact that you have this need to fit into a certain mold set forth by XYZ. (Such bullshit, btw, right?)
Now I want you to envision slowly turning to this leering mass of people and groups in that circle, the ones just hoping and praying you will surrender and feel like shit about yourself, and give them your money so you can be apart of this bogussss group that doesn’t even actually exist… And I want you to tell them to fuck off.
I want you to scream it from the mountaintops. I want you to shake your ass at them. I want you to run around that circle like a crazy woman showing them that you are not going anywhere and you are having some damn FUN outside that circle. I just want you to give. them. the. bird.
And when you are done screaming, flipping them off, and running around, I want you to stop and I want you to find your voice and I want you to look your insecurities in the eye, and I want you to repeat this to yourself a trillion times: You do NOT get to tell me what I’m worth. You do NOT get to make me feel like shit. I’m fucking awesome the way I am and no beauty product, or piece of clothing, can change that.
Step #4: Flip the script, show up, and be SEEN, baby.
Now, we need to change the narrative. This is a big one. When we feel like we don’t “look good” we don’t want to fully show up and be present. I say to HELL with that.
Let me remind you, your worth is not based on what you look like, how much you weigh, or what your hair is doing on any particular day. YOU decide your worth.
Here are some affirmations to use in order to change your inner narrative and fully show up to be seen:
- I have anxiety and depression and you know what? I’m worthy and I’m freaking here. I have some bad ass ideas.
- Yes, you can see my cellulite through my pants. Also, I am SO damn good at my job.
- You better believe I’m rolling up in this outfit I got 6 years ago on clearance and I am STILL rocking the shit out of it. My kids think I’m the best thing since sliced bread!
- Peep my acne/wrinkles/stretch marks! Your mom, your sister, your friends…EVERYONE has these, ya know?
You have identified what is bothering you. You have recognized where this feeling comes from and who profiting from this icky feelings. You have stood your ground and reminded yourself other entities do NOT get to decide your worth. You have rewritten your script to reclaim your power in order to fully show up with no apologies.
And all I hope is that from this exercise you see just a freaking glimpse of how your kids, your partner, and any of your loved ones see you: powerful, beautiful, and full of life. Because you are all of those things and MORE, mama.
Have the best week ever! I’m right there with you doing this crazy thing called life : )