Um, can I just say 2018 kicked. my. ass. It was a brutal one, you guys. I am definitely realistic in understanding that 2019 is going to most like rock me as well, but you know what? I refuse to let fear, sadness, and anger rule my life. I know Target Dollar Spot is already replete with Valentine’s Day decor, hell, probably Saint Patrick’s Day by this point, but I have been mulling over my goals for 2019 and I’ve come up with some pretty powerful ideas that I hope you can implement as well, mamacita.
Start freaking doing instead of waiting. We live super close to a Ritchie’s diner in town. I cannot tell you HOW many times I’ve literally said out loud, “Let’s ride our bikes to Ritchie’s some time!” And thennn I never made it happen. Do you have anything like that in your life? Something you have been saying you want to do, or something you want to accomplish, or a dream that you want to achieve, but you just WAIT? I feel like I have this habit of constantly WAITING. Waiting to figure out what art or decor to put on my walls, waiting to make the move to get a group fitness certification, waiting to start my Masters… I just WAIT. And I overthink. And I second guess myself. Andddd the walls are bare in my house. And then I get caught up in the mundane stuff like emptying the dishwasher, scrolling through my phone, or any of the other trillion tasks that I find myself doing on a regular basis. Please tell me you know what I’m talking about.
So you know what I did, guys? I freaking stopped waiting. One Sunday morning rolled around, and I looked around and I could just feel this energy, and I was like, “We are going to Ritchies, motherfuckers.” (But I didn’t say that to my kids- I said it to the universe.) And. we. went. And can I tell you the BEST part? This is so good. You guys, I don’t actually have my own bike. Sooo I ended up using this extra kid bike that we have lying around that is intended for like an 11 year old, tops, and I will tell you WHAT- I looked like a straight up TWEEKER cruising down the road on this kid bike but dude, I DID IT. I took my kids and we rode our bikes to Ritchie’s and we colored the menus and I drank coffee and we ate pancakes and it was GREAT.
I stopped WAITING and I DID IT. It felt so damn good. In 2019 I’m committed to more doing and less waiting. Can you feel me, mamas!?
Have more meaningful conversations. I feel like whenever I’m at school pick up, or waiting in line somewhere, all I hear are women talking to each other about what they do or do not eat, the workouts they are trying out, or what their kids are doing, or like, a show they are currently binge watching. But can I just tell you about the COOLEST thing that occurred recently? Like, if there’s a chair near you imagine me jumping on top of it screaming, about how this is the COOLEST thing that has happened in like months. But first I have to give you the back story. (duh)
So a few months ago I went out with a few girlfriends that I basically just adore. These are women that just freaking give and give and GIVE to others. Freaking selfless ANGELS. I know you know women like this in your life. Hell, you may even BE that person. (Like, literally, they may be reading this. Thanks for your support BTW.) So in the midst of our dinner, I turned to them and I just asked, “Hey, what do you guys want to do with your lives? What do you want to do?” And then this EPIC conversation started and ideas and dreams and goals were discussed. We wanted to go back to school, we wanted to make our own freaking money, we wanted to learn, we wanted to be the strongest role models we could be for the 8 children we have between the three of us. It. was. rad. But it gets even BETTER, you guys!!!
So life happens, and of course, I don’t have a chance to have a legit conversation with these women again for a few months. When we were finally able to come back together do you wanna know what my friend SAID!? She turns to us and she says, “The conversation we had the other month inspired me to finally apply to go back to school.” Like, holy SHIT. My friend, my selfless angel mom friend, is going back to school. And the conversation we had was something that inspired her to make that decision. WHATTTTTT. I am NOT sitting here saying that that conversation was the end-all-be-all and I’m the martyr that solely influenced this major life decision. Not at all. But to hear that our conversation was even PART of the reason she made the choice to start school again?? THAT IS SOOO FREAKING RAD.
So I get it, you’re not going to talk goals and dreams and heavy shit during drop off and pick up times. Yes, still talk about your marinades, and your memes, and your shows, but what I challenge you to do is take the time to actually look at the people you are talking to ask them about them. I promise you will find out information that will help you to get to know people on a deeper level. I promise you you will make connections and feel lonely. I promise you, YOU will feel inspired by the things you learn. I sure as hell did.
Interrupt negative thoughts. These days, negative thoughts swarm into my brain, causing me to mentally freeze and then I just start spiraling. My negative thoughts take root in two forms: total pity mode, or fear of the unknown. I get stuck on an idea, and before I know it, it’s been 5 minutes and all I am doing is sitting in my head panicking or ugly crying. These horrible thoughts do absolutely nada to help me reach goals, lead a healthy, happy life, or become the person I want to be. So I have started to employ a simple mental exercise that has actually helped me and I want you to try it out, too. Whenever I feel the sadness, negativity, or fear creep into my thoughts, I ask myself one simple question: What if it all works out? What if all of my pain and sorrow and total life shift results in me living my best life EVER? I follow this up with, what if I find the happiness and joy that I deserve? And before I know it…I am no longer asking myself “what if” questions, I am saying things like, I will work tirelessly to create a life that serves my soul and lets in light.
Whenever I feel the sadness, negativity, or fear creep into my thoughts, I ask myself one simple question: What if it all works out?
I KNOW it sounds bogus. I know this concept isn’t like, a magic pill you can take and, boom, be happy. (I mean, I think those pills do exist, but I’m gonna try to steer clear of them.) You guys, when I throw my ninja spike strip of positive thoughts across my mind, those shitty voices in my head veer off path and quiet the hell down. I’m able to get on with my day with a positive perspective.
What are the nasty voices in your head telling you? That you aren’t a good mom? That you don’t have enough friends? That you don’t have what it takes? That you need to be more XYZ? We ALL get those thoughts. I ask you to join me in being intentional with stopping those thoughts in their dumb little, lying tracks.
Be more present. Raise your hand if you have been in a Starbucks recently? As a teacher, I received approximately $987,344 in Starbucks gift cards this past holiday season. Score. I know going to Starbucks is like, a cultural phenomenon in our society, but I rarely go. So this past winter break I decided to get jiggy with it and use my gift cards to join in with the masses to drink overpriced coffee. The one thing that struck me about Starbucks was not how delightful my drinks were or how cool the merchandise was, but how many people were in the store completely immersed in their phones. Okay, I am NOT trying to get on my high horse and be that person that is anti-screen time. I love my phone as much as the next person. It was though, just kind of… depressing, to see so many people plugged into something and versus being present in the moment. In fact, it made ME want to bust out my phone and start scrolling. You have to have some difficult conversations with yourself about WHY you are always reaching for the phone. For me, and for so many others, I am numbing myself to other negative emotions. Am I actually lonely? Am I bored? Am I avoiding work or a conversation that I simply do not want to engage in?
You have to have some difficult conversations with yourself about WHY you are always reaching for the phone.
So while inside my local Starbucks, instead of plugging in my passcode and scrolling through IG, I decided to remain present. I people watched, I looked at the wall paper design, I listened in on this super awkward first date conversation. And you know what? I liked being able to resist the urgency to look at mindless things on my phone. In this new year, I am working hard to make this more of a habit. Here are some more tips for how to break your social media addiction, if you are interested.
So mamas, stop waiting and start doing. Start living the life you were meant to have. Because what if it all works out!? What if that one choice to stay present, start that conversation, or ask that one question changes everything? You are so worth it. Stay empowered friends, and remember I am right there in the trenches with you. Here’s to a great week.