I’m in a weird spot friends. I’ve made the crazy painful and difficult decision that I need to end my marriage. At times I feel SO insanely overwhelmed with the fact that my life is going to be dramatically changing during the course of this next year. I freakkkk out when I think about Christmas (check out this post here to see how I am dealing with my holiday season fears), my kids having two different households, and what it will mean for me to be single woman in this crazy ass world. (Omg deep breaths) So it goes without saying that I have done my fair sharing of crying and freaking out. Like, hardcore, sitting in my car in a parking lot trying to figure out HOW I’m going to get through this. But pretty soon after everything came to light that my marriage was indeed in disrepair, I made a crucial decision for myself. Sure, I could cry for hours on end and hole myself up and make myself a victim. Sure, I could use this as an excuse for why I can’t show up and be the best person that I can be. And ya know, from time to time that’s truly what I want to do.
But instead, I am making the choice to use this experience to grow and become a stronger woman. I, like SO many of you out there, have SO much to be grateful for and thankful for. I have things that NO ONE take away from me like my education, my self respect, and my character. I decided that through this whole experience, I was going to take my power back and not only empower myself, but empower other women as well. PLEASE take a look at this post to see some different ways you can empower yourself and others! (And let me take a moment to say that if you have read this blog and you have reached out to me, words cannot express how much that means to me. Thank you from the bottom of my HEART for your words of strength and encouragement. You are truly giving me strength to get through these times and I will always and forever be grateful to you.)
I simply cannot spend my days wallowing. I have shit. to. do. So I decided that I would give myself 5 minutes. 5 minutes maximum each day, to freak the f**k out. Yes. You read that right. I literally set the timer on my phone and for 5 whole minutes I allow myself to stress, to worry, to freak out over what is happening to me. I cry, I get angry, I worry like hell over the wholllllle enchilada. It isn’t pretty. And then, when that timer goes off, I push forward. I remind myself that I will absolutely, 100% grow from this, come out stronger, and be a stronger person in the end. I mentally lay out allllll of the wonderful, delicious good in my life that I have to focus on. I remind myself that no one can take away my education or my work ethic. No one can take away the fact that I am a loving and beautiful human being. I think of concrete ways I can empower myself in that moment. I push forward with everything I’ve got, mama.
Please do the same. Please allow yourself a chance to freak out. Maybe your marriage is fine, but you have a loved one that is sick. Maybe your finances are a wreck. Maybe your job is at stake. Take 5 minutes, freak out, and then push on with a positive, solution based mind frame. You deserve to live your BEST life. You have SO much to offer this world. You are NOT a victim. Freak out and then move on, mama.
What are some other strategies that you use to help you cope with whatever life has thrown at you? Please let me know! If you feel like someone else will benefit from this message, please share this content! Remember, throw some female empowerment around like it’s confetti, mama.