How many times have you woken up and been like, “Today is the day I’m going to have so much patience and I’m gonna be the best __________ EVER and my hair is gonna look amazing!?”
And then reality hits and you lose it on your kids, forget that work email and/or meeting and you have zero time to do your hair? Me. All the time. And then I’m in the car after I drop my kids off from their before school care just crying those UGLY mom guilt tears, questioning everything I’ve ever done in my life. Truth.
I wish I could tell you that I always feel empowered and ready to take on the world like a warrior bad ass, but that would be a big fat lie. I am just as susceptible to those gnarly bad days as the next mama. The truth is, I have to flex my empowerment muscles every day to keep them strong. I consciously work on myself day in, day out in order to live my truth, and remember my worth. I want to share with you some ways I push back against those nasty feelings of self-doubt and loathing when I feel them creeping in.
I’ve put together 14 ways you can feel empowered, regain control, and spread your love and light to those around you, sister. The best part about these ideas is you can try them like, today RIGHT NOW to start flexin’ those empowerment muscles. Damn girl, you look strongggg.
Make a list of self affirming mantras and repeat them or look at them when you are down. Holy cow this works. When you see a quote on Pinterest or IG that just resonates with you, bust out your phone and type it into your notes. Memorize your mantras, or take out your phone when you need a reminder of how insanely bad ass you are.
If you need some inspiration, take a look at my list:
Try One Thing Today that Scares You. Okay, I KNOW we have all heard this one, and I’m not suggesting you waltz up to your gym crush and ask him/her to coffee (or hey, maybe you should do that!?). No. I’m talking about trying out something pretty damn small.
Case in point: I love going to the gym, I love working out. (Please don’t slap me.) But I am SUCH a WUSS when it comes to trying out new machines or new exercises. I totally get 7th grade syndrome and I’m terrified someone is going to see me using a machine wrong, or using bad form on a certain move, judge me and then laugh at me and then I’ll want to crawl into a hole and stay there forever until I die. But guess what I realized as of late? NO. ONE. CARES. Seriously. Everyone else is too busy worrying about what the heck they are doing to notice you. Try that new restaurant even if it means you will have to parallel park (SUPER scary for me!), call and make that appointment you need for __________ even if it means you have to talk to someone on the phone you don’t know, write that blog, tell that person how you truly feel, or ANYTHING else that makes you feel kind of uncomfortable. In life,you’ve gotta get comfortable with the uncomfortable. That’s how you grow, babe!
Move Your Body. Like in any way, shape, or form, move your damn body. Dance to a song, go for a walk, stretch, complete a workout on Youtube (like this one, that i lurvvv), pull some weeds in your backyard, run after your kids, do some squats with your baby… just DO something. Our bodies are meant to move. Sometimes just moving your body helps to get those endorphins flowing. You’ll sleep better, you’ll feel better. It’s a win all around, sis.
Unfollow Bullshit Accounts. Like I said, I love working out. So, I had this great idea that I would follow alllll of these Instagram fitness chicks on social media. Worst. Idea. Ever. EVERY time I scrolled through my feed I was bombarded with these icky feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Even though logically I knew these women had most likely intensely prepped for these photo shoots, and then worked with a team to pick out the photos that made them look the thinnest and prettiest, it messed with my head big time. Each time I saw one of those ripped women on my feed that inner voice was taunting myself over and over again, “You’ll never look like that. You don’t work hard enough, you don’t have any self-discipline, you are not good enough.” You know what, f**k that. Seriously. I took matters into my own hands and went through my feed and listened to my head noise. Each time I came across an account that made me feel less than my best, I unfollowed it. Just like that. Click. Gone. It was soooo insanely empowering and LIBERATING to free myself from those images.
I am gorgeous, I am worthy, I am enough, and I sure as hell am not going to let some stranger on the Internet make me feel otherwise.
Compliment a Stranger. For some reason, women sometimes feel like when we give out compliments to other women we are somehow giving away our power. I am here to tell you that complimenting other women does not give away your power at ALL. It actually amplifies your power tenfold!
I am here to tell you that complimenting other women does not give away your power at ALL. It actually amplifies your power tenfold!
Think about it. How did you feel the last time a woman gave you a genuine compliment? Did you think, “Oh that poor girl is never going to be as hot as me.” Uh, NO. It made you feel like a MILLION BUCKS. It brought a smile to your face. It made you want to pass on that joy you received. So do it. Next time you see a woman with a gorgeous head of hair, speak on it. Or if you notice a mom struggling with her kids at the park, tell her she is doing an amazing job. Smile at the woman in the grocery store. We have NO clue the journey that these other women are on in their life. One kind message of empowerment could make all of the difference.
Practice Gratitude. I know. This is another psycho, mind game blah blah blah suggestion, but I’m telling you IT WORKS. You guys, I’m going through a helllll of a time in my life. My marriage has fallen apart. I am in the initial stages of divorce. There are multiple times in my day when I am utterly terrified when I think about my future. I become so overwhelmed, I feel life crushing in around me. (If you want to hear more about this and about how I began my journey of empowering myself and other women read this post!) But then…I stop and breathe and I put shit in perspective. Yes. I am 30 years old and facing a divorce. I NEVER in a bajillion years thought I would be here and to be real, I’m still trying to get my head around it.
But you know what? I have a KICK ASS life. I have two healthy, beautiful children that love me unconditionally. I have two parents and a sister and a brother-in-law that would do anything to protect me. I have a healthy body that I use to make amazing things happen. I have an education that no one can take away from me. I have a roof over my head and food in my cabinets. I am so utterly blessed beyond measure. When I put all of that into perspective, I realize the fact that my marriage has ended is only one piece of my life. I have so many other vibrant, exciting opportunities ahead for myself. I am young, and funny, and inquisitive, and passionate. I have sooo much to be grateful for.
When I put all of that into perspective, I realize the fact that my marriage has ended is only one piece of my life. I have so many other vibrant, exciting opportunities ahead for myself.
The next time you can’t seem to see past the pain of the situation you’re in, stop, breathe, and mentally or literally list out everything in your life you have to be grateful for. Keep that glass half full, mama.
Okay. Get out there and try some of these practices. Remember, there is no quick fix to healing a broken heart, or building up your self-esteem, or anything worth truly having in this world. You have to do the hard work. When you practice flexing those empowerment muscles, it really will become easier and easier. You are SO worth. WE are so worth it, mama.
If you think a fellow mama could benefit from these tips, please share on social media! Also, please let me know about your empowerment journey in the comments below!